Screams In Battle
by The Plagnister
Summary: Very random screams in battle that only Miroku can hear and Sesshoumaru showing up to... save Inu Yash?. Kagome reads TyKa? Jakotsu comes to steal Yasha? Miroku gone insane with monkies? NaraXYasha, SesshXYasha, KikyouXYasha, JakoXYasha, JakenXYasha, Ja


_**A/N**: Okay, it's 1:30 in the morning and we are playing Inu Yasha duel fighting game thingy. Like when you play Mortal Combat or Killer Instinct. Plushie's little brother is making weird noises while he's playing, inspiring me to write this fic._

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_**Screams In Battle**_

"Inu Yasha! Behind you."

"Sango, are you all right?"

"HENTAI!"

_Sonic Boom!_

The slap sounded during the middle of the fight. Naraku had ambushed the Yasha gang while they were traveling through the forest. Scores of demons invaded their little makeshift camp, although none knew how they got past their Shard Detector. Revenge was such sweet sorrow, even in the midst of a great battle against their arch nemesis.

Someone randomly shouted "Pintido!" Although no one knew exactly who.

Miroku nursed his sore cheek and faced the enemy once again. They were flagging Inu Yasha off from the rest of the group, pushing him further and further into the forest. Without much thought other than winning, he unleashed his wind tunnel, sucking in the oni coming on Yasha from behind.

"Waaaaa! Miroku, watch where you're pointing that thing! You're sucking me in!"

Hmphing, Miroku pointed his wind-tunnel to different direction. There were hundreds of them coming in now. No, thousands of demons. Then a sound interrupted the battle momentarily.

"Boom chakalaka boom!"

A white form appeared as if from nowhere and sliced half of demons to nothing. A yellow whip lashed out and knocked some of the demons surrounding the Half-Breed. They stared in amazement as Sesshoumaru stood there, calm as ever.

"Stay away from my brother."

Sesshoumaru and Inu Yasha fought back to back, all the while the dog boy yelling at his half-brother.

"What do _you_ want?"

"I cannot fight amongst side my brother?"

"You're always trying to kill me!"

"Am I really?" Sesshoumaru pulled his beloved brother in close and cupped his cheek. "I shall have to remedy that."

Sango fought with Kirara by her side. They were doing quite well, considering that the awful smelling beasts surrounded them. Kagome had a thought unbidden and completely irrelevant from the fight.

_'I wish I was back home watching TyKa.'_

"Woodai!"

"Who keeps screaming things!" Miroku looked around in wonder, believing that he was going quite insane.

Then came the big finally. The shadowed form floated down as the demons swarmed to it. No, more like swarmed _in_to it. Naraku touched down and laughed maniacally and attacked, tentacles reaching out, coating everything into slime. They all screamed as one, attacking the malformed creature with the hottest head with black hair and red eyes.

Well, all except Kagome, whom decided that the shininess of TyKa was much more important than killing Naraku. She was sitting down out of the battle, drooling over the pictures in her three-ringed-binder.

His deep voice spoke out from the mass. "You will be mine, Inu Yasha. Chuka chuka cha."

"No. You stay away from him. He's mine."

Kagome looked up at the white demon in confusion. "Eh?" _'Oh well. I'd much rather have my TyKa.'_

"Pokada!"

The yell came from the fight, resounding off of Naraku's huge body. Nobody but Miroku seemed to concern themselves with this, making him believe that he was hearing voices in his head.

An arrow flew out of the forest and struck Naraku on the shoulder and it disintegrated into nothing. Kikyou walked out the shadows, her bow cocked and ready for another shot. Naraku's arm regrew itself, creaating ugly glops of black stuff to fall all over the battleground. "Naraku! Leave Inu Yasha alone. He has belonged to me since the beginning."

"You're wrong Kikyou. Inu Yasha shall be mine forever. Once I have him, he will never escape me!"

Sesshoumaru's vein throbbed at his temple, getting bigger and bigger in each claim over Inu Yasha. Jakotsu randomly showing up and snatching Inu Yasha from his grip - to cuddle and pet and occasionally stab - did not help the matter. Growling, Sesshoumaru snatched him back and shoved the dead man away, towards the monk whom was running around in circles screaming incoherently. Jakotsu clapped his hands and 'squee'-ed, then skipped over to "help".

Inuyasha got his brain back momentarily. "I am not an, pant, pant, object for s...pant, pant, s-sex and...pant..." False alarm, coherent thought left the breathy and flustered hanyou once more to the capable hands of his dear older brother.

Jaken and Rin flew out of the forest to land at their feet... well, Inu Yasha was on his back, but that's beyond the point. Jaken's pale yellow eyes lit up as he looked at Yasha chest, whose shirt had mysteriously disappeared. The muscular form was much more than he ever saw of his master lately, and seemed to beckon him. Jaken started squawking incoherently as Rin flew away, shrieking "Rin can fly!"

Snarling at Jaken's exclamation of how he had waited many, many painful years to see this, Sesshoumaru transformed into his full demon self. Without really meaning to, he knocked the Tetsusaiga out of Inu Yasha's hands, making Yasha go full demon. Everyone drooled for a moment.

All except for Kagome, that is, who was still entranced by the light shinning out of her folder.

Kikyou's arrow shot off, destroying half of Naraku's tentacles. Sesshoumaru was gnawing on a couple and Sango's Hiraikotsu was flying all over the place. Inu Yasha was trying to do something to Kirara... nobody knew what exactly...

And Miroku was hitting himself on the head with his own staff. "No! Get the monkies off! The monkies are on me!"

Jakotsu got in Miroku's face and said, "I'll help, for a price!"

Before Kikyou could make another move towards the hanyou-gone-full-demon, the giant dog reached down and shook her to bits of the clay that she really was. Clumps of clay fell to the ground as Sesshoumaru returned his attention on the huge glob demon. He went for the head, completely destroying it.

The gigantic body fell upon Sango and the insane Miroku, and the molesting Jakotsu, crushing them. With one swift turn, Sesshoumaru took out Kagome too, just because she was there. He was officially on a rampage.

He transformed back into his humanoid form and picked the Tetsusaiga up. He walked up to Inu Yasha and wrapped his good arm around him, pressing the sheathed blade against the dog boy's chest, in turn pinning him to Sesshoumaru's. He was not in the mood to deal with his brother's unreasonable, incoherent side... He wanted something more intimate.

"I've got you now. Come with me, for you are now mine."

All of a sudden, Shippou walked out of the forest, holding the hand of stranger, hair as white as Sesshoumaru's. Instantly Sesshoumaru recognized him.

"Father?"

"Hello son. I see that you are finally getting along with your brother. Good."

Inu Yasha was shocked into silence, momentarily stopped struggling weakly against his brother and his wandering hand. Not only did he see his father, but his father is also with... Shippou? And why was he holding him so tight?

Sesshoumaru smirked as Inu no Taishou faded back into the forest with Shippou, Shippou's small voice ringing out from its depths.

"Inu Yasha, you have a pretty daddy."

Now that Inu Yasha had stopped struggling, and had nowhere else to go, Sesshoumaru could have him to himself for as long as he liked. There were so many things that he would like to try... Things that even South Park wouldn't show. Wait, maybe they would. He didn't even know why he thought of South Park. Hell, he didn't even know what that was.

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_**A/N**: How do you like my random ff of doom. I am not on my Ritalin and at Plushie's house. And I would like to thank you all for reading my random shit._


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